Jimmie Allen delivered an in-depth interview about his personal life and career, including his mental health journey following an affair and a lawsuit alleging abuse. Allen posted his conversation with Kathie Lee Gifford on YouTube on Tuesday (April 23).

During the conversation, Gifford asked Allen what began to unravel his career. Allen took pauses as he responded, reflecting on the since-settled lawsuit filed in May 2023 by a Jane Doe, a former manager of the Delaware-born singer-songwriter, accusing Allen of assault and sexual abuse.

“I remember I was sitting there and I literally felt like the whole world had just collapsed,” Allen, 38, said as he reflected on the moment the news broke in May 2023. “The first thing my brain goes to is not (to my) career. It’s how (am I going) to provide for my kids. I’m thinking, how do I provide for my family?”

Allen had three children on that day last year. He recently opened up about being a father to six children. His eldest son is Aadyn, who turns 10 this year, followed by his first two children with wife Alexis Gale — whom he married in May 2021 — Naomi Bettie, born in March 2020, and Zara James, born in October 2021. Allen welcomed twins Amari and Aria with another woman while he was split from Gale, who then welcomed Baby No. 3 with Allen, son Cohen Ace James, in September 2023. Allen revealed in his interview with Gifford that he welcomed Amari and Aria with a longtime friend, Danielle, while he was separated from Gale and she was separated from her husband.

“Then it hit me,” Allen said in his interview with Gifford, reflecting on his thoughts of how to provide for his family and business deals canceled amid the lawsuit, which has since reached a settlement. “My life insurance covers suicide. And I don’t feel that way now, but in that moment, when you feel like you have nothing…in the midst of a society where it’s no longer innocent until proven guilty. You’re guilty. She said this, so it must be true.”

Allen admitted he began putting bullets in his gun clip when a friend, Chuck Adams, texted him with “freaky” timing: “Ending it isn’t the answer.” Allen said it was because of Adams’ message that he “just stopped.” He called a friend to come take his gun. Allen credits his family, friends and kids with helping him get through. He also said he went to a retreat and sought therapy during that time.

Earlier this year, Allen and Jane Doe reached a settlement to her claims and his counterclaims and agreed to dismiss them. Elizabeth Fegan, founding partner of FeganScott, which represented Jane Doe, said in a statement to PEOPLE, in part, that Doe settled “to avoid the trauma of reliving her abuse over the course of a painful trial.”

Allen said in his interview with Gifford that in the future, he aims “to continue with just being honest with myself, and being honest with everyone else.” He said he’s focusing on providing for his kids and writing “purposeful music.”

Watch the full conversation between Allen and Gifford here.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide or is in emotional distress, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

St. Pierre