Finding lipstick on your partner’s collar or a hotel receipt in his pocket are pretty good signs that they’re cheating, but what if they just seem distant or are getting close to a friend at work. Do you have anything to worry about? Those could be signs of an emotional affair, but it can be hard to pinpoint. If your S.O. has a special bond with someone else that feels more intense than a friendship to you, trust your gut. And if you’re bonding with someone other than your partner and want to know if it’s crossing the line, be on the lookout for these warning signs the friendship is something more, like an emotional affair.
Signs you’re having an emotional affair:
- You're more excited to see this person than your partner - Relationships are all about how much emotional energy you’re giving and receiving and when it comes to emotional affairs, it’s about the energy going outside your relationship, psychologist Dr. Bill Bercaw
- You're having fantasies about this person … but not the kind you think - Instead of sexual fantasies or dreams, these are emotional fantasies like, “this person would never do what my partner just did to me,” or “this person would make me so happy in ways my partner isn’t.” And Bercaw says these thoughts are a warning sign.
- This person has become your go-to - If you get a raise at work or into a fender bender on your way home, who’s the first person you want to tell. If it’s not your S.O., that’s a red flag.
- You complain about your partner - Complaining about the terrible coffee at work to a coworker helps bond you and if you start complaining about your relationship to someone else can bond you, too. It can start off innocently, but complaining about their partners can bring people in an emotional affair closer.
Signs your partner is having an emotional affair:
- He gets defensive - Being defensive can be a red flag, Bercaw points out that people who aren’t defensive usually don’t have anything to hide.
- He's a freakin' expert on this person - If your partner knows all about his coworker’s marriage or tells you that he revealed some intimate details about your relationship with them, that could be a sign he’s having an emotional affair.
- Your sex life has drastically improved or dropped off totally - If your S.O. is having an emotional affair that’s not physical, that passion for the other person could lead to more sex for you guys. Or it could go the other way and that emotional connection with someone else could zap his sexual interest in you.
- He seems distant or detached - If he’s giving attention and emotional support to someone else, he may have less to share with you.
- He has an attitude - If he’s pulling away and being critical of you and he was never like that before, that’s a sign he could be having an emotional affair.
- His tech habits have changed - If he’s suddenly glued to his phone or has a new interest in social media after never spending time on it before, something might be up. And if he’s vague about who he’s keeping in touch with, beware.
Source: Women's Health